Top 30 famous Adam Carolla quotes
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Here is a collection of some of the best quotes by Adam Carolla on the internet.
About Adam Carolla
Adam Carolla (born May 27, 1964) is an American comedian, Alt-Right radio personality, television host, actor, podcaster, author and director. He hosts The Adam Carolla Show, a talk show distributed as a podcast which set the record as the “most downloaded podcast” as judged by Guinness World Records in 2011.
Famous Adam Carolla quotes
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.
In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
I think we’re getting to the point where everyone’s getting fat and everyone’s getting allergic, or claims to be allergic to something and people can’t walk from their front door to their car without a bottle of water in their hand because they have to hydrate every three and half steps.
My first car was a motorcycle.
A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
Rich people don’t pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes – they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn’t pay taxes.
Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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I guess my feeling is is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
I am not a good cue card reader.
I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
I get depressed at airports.
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I’m just gonna tell her, ‘Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.’
The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
If the media isn’t slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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